Squirrel skirmishes
My ersatz bird feeders ain't pretty, but they get the job done.
However, they do NOT pose an inconvenience at all to the (fat, glossy) squirrel who frequents the buffet.I haven't gotten around to building a proper squirrel proof feeder. Attempts last year with shields totally didn't work, although they inspired some squirrel acrobatics and probably gave him some brain exercise, thus creating a smarter squirrel.Squirrel have impressive intelligence. The squirrel obstacle course videos never get old.Our best method is to whisper "Squirrel!" to the dog if he's inside, who instantly leaps to high alert, and presses his nose against the crack of the door. (Think Up!, the movie. Yes, there is a shortened circuit in the brain of dogs - thy name is Squirrel!) Open it and he bursts out, galloping at the bird feeder. The squirrel leaps out of the feeder, and if he's unlucky enough to not grab a tree to run up, a wild ground chase ensues. That will keep him away for a few minutes. There have been close enough calls that this is still exciting for the dog.
My recent attempt to deter the squirrel is funnier than it is effective.I've got a long string strung from the feeder to inside the window.
When I see the squirrel making himself at home in the milk jug, I give the string a sharp yank. The squirrel goes catapulting out of the jug, twisting in the air and landing willy nilly, after which he spends some time running up and down the trees and shaking his tail in umbrage. Then he goes back in the feeder. He's already used to it, now it's just a surprise rollercoaster ride.My next version will be cantilevering a stick so that it whacks the feeder when I pull the string. That should be good for a few more days of tail twitching outrage.I don't really begrudge the squirrel, either. He's not taking all that much product, and he does not bring all his friends. That's not in his best interests. I just mind that he gets in the feeder and then the birds can't.Also, he safecracked the bird seed bucket. 
Straight to the motherlode. Ruined a functional lid, the little %@##&! This must have taken him all night, and if now if I don't put something heavy and steel on it, and turn my back for even a second....